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Post by Arc on May 23, 2009 18:41:24 GMT -5
Kane Ryder climbed the final step to the Jedi Temple hesitantly, almost afraid to return after what he had done. He had given in to his anger, something that was forbidden. It was against the Jedi Code, and Kane had been taught against all of his life. In a vain attempt to satisfy his rage, Kane had led a Jedi Strike team in an attempt to assassinate the Dark Lord of the Sith. And his plan had failed. Instead of gaining the favor of the Senate, he had pushed them farther away. Because of him, the Jedi were no longer the Protectors of the Galaxy. Because of him, the Sith Empire would rule.
Who's idea had it been? His. It had been his plan. Kane had carefully plotted out a way to assassinate the Dark Lord of the Sith for nearly a month. He had asked only the greatest warriors among the Jedi Order to aide him. He had told the Jedi Council, of course. They hadn't necessarily agreed, but they didn't speak out against his absurd idea. And now, Kane felt a pang of guilt. He was to blame. He may have even brought about the fall of the Jedi Order itself. All because he couldn't control his anger.
Kane had felt like this before – helpless, lost, depressed, at fault. But the one he would normally turn to in these types of situations was gone forever. He had never gotten over her death . . . Now who could he possibly ask for help? Not any of the Council Members. Kane didn't know any of them personally; they would think him a fool for going through with his mission. They would blame him. His current Padawan, Carth, would never understand. No matter how much Kane may care about him, Carth wouldn't be able to help him. The only other person that Kane could think of was his old Padawan, now a Jedi Knight. But Alem was away on a mission to the Outer Rim.
Carth was his only option.
And so, with a deep breath, Kane pushed himself forward, climbing the last stair. He took slow steps forward until he had reached the giant doors that led to the Jedi Temple. Then, after fixing a fold in his robes and pushing a stray strand of brown hair out of his eyes, he pushed open the door and made his way inside.
The temple was beautiful – just as he had remembered it. Kane hadn't been here in so long, and as he stepped through the doorway, memories flooded his mind – both good and bad. The first time he had entered the grand Jedi Temple as an excited and curious young boy, and this time, as a frightened Jedi Master. And then, all of his visits in between. Why was he reminiscing? Even he didn't know the answer to that questions. The memories hit him hard, for some unexplainable reason.
This day, however, he knew that he wasn't welcome. As he entered the main room, the few Jedi that roamed the hallways looked in his direction, casting him disapproving glances, shaking their heads . . . He ignored them, turning to the right almost immediately, heading for Carth's room. At this time of the morning, his young Padawan would still be sound asleep. Kane knew that Carth could be found at the temple this day. There were no important missions that were in need of inexperienced Jedi Padawans at the moment. Where else would he be?
Once he had reached Carth's room, Kane knocked sharply on the door, standing back after he had done so to wait. The Jedi Master's eyes were fixed on the floor in a nervous manner, and he folded his hands into his robes like he normally did when out of sorts. They were both bad habits.
Carth wouldn't understand what it felt like to be a failure, an outcast in the Jedi Temple, but at least he was someone to talk to. And Kane had never told the young man much about his past. Perhaps this would be the perfect opportunity for an in depth conversation, instead of a harsh lesson. It could be good for the both of them.
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Post by shteven on May 23, 2009 19:07:04 GMT -5
Carth heard the news…received lectures at length on how the Council started to disapprove of his apprenticeship under his Master. But on those meetings, Carth would speak on how his Master was making progress. Yes, it wasn’t something the Council usually approved of but it was a step in a direction. Whether it was right or wrong, only time would tell.
Master Ryder was the one person that he felt closest to in the Order.
Waking fom his sleep, Carth looked out the window, watching the speeders go by the Temple from afar, the sunrise marking the start of a new day. He remembered on how he was shown in headquarters the first time, bunking up with fellow Younglings when they were assigned. Carth smiled faintly at those memories and he continued remembering things during his life here. He had good memories, even though he hasn’t led an exemplary life as a Jedi.
But he loved it here.
Putting on his Jedi robes, Carth had a feeling something was about to happen. Maybe his Master was here. Master Ryder needed to talk to someone after all that’s happened. He then thought of how Master Ryder suddenly brought upon himself a burden: he distanced the Jedi from the Senate, because of a plan gone wrong. Carth felt pity for his master, but shared his point of view somewhat. If there was one thing that Carth thought, it was this.
Jedi serve the Force and all living things in it. For all that’s happened, they still protect the galaxy.
He heard a knock on the door, and he walked to it, finishing dressing. Once he put his tabard in place and fixing up his boots, almost stumbling as it was natural of him, he held a hand over the pad, and he closed his eyes.
He was there…and Carth started to have a clue as to why it was. He pressed the pad and the door opened.
“Master.” He bowed his head slightly in respect to him. “Come in.” He stepped aside to let Master Ryder pass.
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Post by Arc on May 23, 2009 19:26:06 GMT -5
Kane waited no more than five minutes, which was impressive. Normally his Padawan took quite a while getting dressed, he moved so slow at times. Happy thoughts like those kept Kane's mind occupied during his wait. But, when Carth finally pushed open the door to his room, the uneasiness returned to the Jedi Master. He inhaled deeply once more to calm himself, exhaling slowly. When Carth peeked out the door, Kane managed a smile – a rather fake-looking, worn out smile. He nodded in the young man's direction, a sign of thanks, and entered the room.
Once inside, Kane took in his surroundings – the oh-so-familiar surroundings. A bed in the corner, one window on the eastern wall, a single book shelf, an a desk near the door. It reminded him so much of his old room. The room where he had spent much of his time as both a Youngling and a Padawan. The room where that he had, at one point, shared with his closest friends. The memories returned, and he couldn't help it.
And then the doubts came, replacing happier times. Should he really tell Carth what was on his mind? He had already established the fact that Carth most certainly wouldn't understand his predicament, but did that really matter? Carth was one of his closest friends. Surely Kane could reveal his secrets to his Padawan, a young man he had known for years. So what was holding him back? Guilt, perhaps?
He shook away the guilt, or whatever it was, and turned around to face Carth once more. Kane opened his mouth to speak, but no words could be found. He was at a loss as to what should be said. His Padawan knew of his failure – he could sense it. Kane had made a terrible example of himself, to both the Jedi Council and his apprentice. How could he possibly make up for that? Lowering his head, avoiding Carth's eyes, Kane finally managed to speak.
“I'm sorry for disturbing you, Padawan, but I am sure you know what has happened.”
His voice was quiet and hesitant, cracking on the last few words. Kane quickly realized that he was exhausted; he hadn't slept in days. But now was not the time to catch up on his sleep. Now was the time to get rid of what was on his mind.
“I set a bad example for you to follow, Padawan. I gave in to my anger and left the temple without consulting with you first. I shouldn't have gone. I know that now.” Kane paused in his explanation, finally looking up to meet Carth's gaze. “The Council may not forgive me for my actions, but I ask that you do, the only reason being the fact that you are my friend.”
He had the appearance of a child begging for forgiveness. He knew that he was in trouble, and he was openly admitting it. It was the only thing he could do.
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Post by shteven on May 23, 2009 19:53:27 GMT -5
Carth watched his Master give him a smile, and felt something was wrong…really wrong. He watched as the Master walk in and look at the surroundings. After a while, Carth knew he was remembering about his earlier life…a life he shared with his friends.
And then the doubts came, replacing happier times. Should he really tell Carth what was on his mind? He had already established the fact that Carth most certainly wouldn't understand his predicament, but did that really matter? Carth was one of his closest friends. Surely Kane could reveal his secrets to his Padawan, a young man he had known for years. So what was holding him back? Guilt, perhaps?
Why did his Master take so long in letting out what was bothering him? Why did it cost him so much to find words to let out his thoughts. Guilt at the fact he acted upon something, just as anyone would have done?
He heard his Master speak, and he knew then and there what had happened: He wanted forgiveness. He wanted assurance that someone would still be there for him in these times. Carth took in his tone of voice, noticing that he lacked sleep from his looks. Once he finished, Carth started to find words to say.
“Master…you knew it was rash to act that way. But I understand…partly, at least.” He sighed, and he placed a hand on his shoulder.“Master, you made a choice that you thought was right. Whether or not its consequences are for the good of the Republic or not, we won’t know yet.” He looked out the window, noticing the speeders absentmindedly.“Master, you had to realize, out job wasn’t over even though we were separated from the Republic. We are still servants of the galaxy.” He turned towards his Master, and he sighed.
“Master, I forgive you. You taught me to act for the good of the people that need help. What you have done, yes it cannot be overlooked, but it can be forgiven.”
He placed a hand on his Master’s shoulder once again and he smiled at him. “You’ve only taught me to not commit your mistakes. Nothing more. And I forgive you for your mistakes. And I’m glad you consider me your friend.”
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Post by Arc on May 23, 2009 20:23:34 GMT -5
Carth understood him more than Kane had imagined possible. They were so alike; sometimes Kane wondered whether Carth could read his mind or share his emotions. Strong bonds between Jedi often brought about those kinds of occurrences. Carth had learned a valuable lesson because of Kane's mistake; he had to admit that much. Because the Senate had declared the Jedi no longer the Protectors of the Galaxy, Carth had learned that lesson. His Padawan had decided that, no matter what happened, the Jedi would always be Guardians of the Galaxy – Keepers of the Peace. He was right.
Carth reminded him so much of himself. Yearning to learn, to understand the many aspects of the galaxy, and being a Jedi. He was an adventurous young man, always willing to do anything for the greater good. And he was a caring individual. Kane could always count on him whenever circumstance called for it. Kane had taught him well.
But the Master and Apprentice were very different in a few aspects as well. Some part of the young man was very different, indeed. And that part of him reminded Kane of his old friend . . . Willing to give out advice whenever necessary, outspoken. He wasn't secretive in the least. As far as Kane could tell, Carth had never hid anything from him. That wasn't like Kane at all. The Jedi Master wasn't open to others, or outspoken. He was quiet and reserved.
And now, as Carth stood before him, accepting his apology, Kane saw a true Jedi within the young man. At the moment, Carth was more of a Jedi than Kane could ever hope to become. Pride shone in Kane's eyes, replacing the guilt that he felt within himself. When Carth placed his hand on his shoulder for the second time, Kane nodded in understanding.
“You are a wiser man than you may realize, Carth Vinlan, and you put me to shame.” The Jedi Master smiled – a real, true half-smile. “And you are right. The Jedi will always be servant of the light, and protectors of the galaxy. My failure is nothing more than a lesson – a failure that I never want you to face. I have given in to my anger before, and it is something that I'm still struggling to overcome. I will learn someday, though.”
“You are, and always will be, my friend. You've proven that to me,” Kane continued. “But, before we talk about the situation any more than we need to, I'd like to hear about what you've been doing lately, Padawan.” Kane turned his back on Carth to have a seat in one of the only chairs in the room. “I haven't seen you in quite a while.”
Sure, he was avoiding the main topic of conversation, but he still wished to know what Carth was up to. It was his business to know.
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Post by shteven on May 23, 2009 20:38:04 GMT -5
Carth smiled when Kane referred to him as his friend. It felt good to be perceived as such by him. Once he heard that Kane wanted to know what he had done, he thought of only being stuck in the training room and the archives “Yes, master. It has been a while.” He replied as he sat on the bed. Where to begin…
“I’ve just been trying to develop my saber skills all this time. I’ve also been helping Padawans in healing techniques, and overall, just being in the archives, the medic bay, and the sparring room…” He stayed quiet.
“Master...I feel ready to take the trials. But at the same time, I don't want to rush into things." He looked to the lone desk, and he stretched his hand out. With a swift flash, his lightsaber came to him, and he looked at it. Even he was amazed he created this after meditating in the Cave.
"I feel as if the Knights that are taking the Trials are more than ready. Meanwhile, I've been just tripping over my feel when I would be training my Form III techniques." He turned it on away from them both, and he looked at the green blade, remembering how his clumsiness tried to deter him from his training. He deactivated the lightsaber; its blade retracting back into the hilt.
"And all the while, I feel more capable than before. More attuned than I was." He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his lightsaber hilt. After a little bit, he managed to get it float a few centimeters from his hand.
"Then again, I would be overthinking these things...Just going too far ahead from where I am.
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Post by Arc on May 24, 2009 13:57:17 GMT -5
Kane sat quietly, saying nothing as Carth spoke. Kane hadn't been expecting Carth's question. Was he ready to be a Jedi Knight? All Padawans asked that question at some time or another. Kane remembered asking it of his Master; it seemed so long ago now . . . He remembered the eagerness, the yearning for something more than the life of an apprentice. Didn't all Jedi? Kane looked within himself, searching for the answer. He had known and trained Carth for years, and he still couldn't come to a conclusion . . .
Kane remembered the day that Alem, his previous apprentice, had become a Jedi Knight. He had been twenty years old – very young for a Knight. Carth was only a year younger than that. But he was so different from Alem, it was hard to find a reasonable answer. Alem had been hasty, rash, an often disobedient, but he had always been strong in the Force. Carth was everything that Alem was not, and he had potential. Kane kept thinking, however, that he had made a mistake with Alem . . . Had the young man really been ready to become a Jedi Knight? Kane doubted it.
“As I said before,” the Jedi Master finally began, “you have learned much in the past few days. You are one of the strongest Force-sensitives I know, in many aspects.” He paused, leaning back in his chair and stroking his beardless chin as if in deep thought. When he finally did speak again, his voice was still kind and gentle. “But you are not ready to become a Jedi Knight. Not yet, at least.”
Kane looked up, searching Carth's face for any sign of disappointment. “I was nineteen when I become a Jedi Knight, and I was nineteen when I took up my first apprentice, but the circumstance called for it. I lost my Master and immediately formed a bond with my Padawan. That was something the Council could not ignore. They allowed me to become a Jedi Knight. I wasn't ready, but it had to be done.
“There is no rush for you, Carth. I do not want to push you into something that you aren't ready for. I don't want you to feel as I did – overwhelmed. I made that mistake with my last Padawan. I pushed him into something that he wasn't ready for. That is something I regret. Surely you understand that.”
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Post by shteven on May 24, 2009 14:20:48 GMT -5
Carth nodded as Kane spoke to him about his circumstances that made him a Jedi Knight. Carth wasn’t in that same spot, so he had to wait like the others. Maybe in time, he would develop himself further so he could be more than ready for the Trials. At least his Master thought so.
Once other thing that gave him comfort was that he was being acknowledged as a Jedi in training. Carth sighed as he gripped his lightsaber lightly, avoiding to turn it on.
“Thank you, Master.” He placed his lightsaber in his belt, and he rubbed is hands. “I realize that I’m just on my way to being a Knight, but I feel this…eagerness. I have this sense of wanting to help the Order in some capacity. Then again, I have time.” He looked at his Master and nodded towards him. “Thank you for listening, Master.”
Carth stayed quiet for a bit, finding his words. Once he did, he asked something to his Master.
“Something happened, Master…and this feeling I have is…the Order knows of it.” He got up and he paced around the room.“What exactly happened that made you assemble that Strike Team, Master? What made you leave so suddenly?” He sat back again on the bed. “What…exactly is going on?”
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Post by Arc on May 26, 2009 16:25:38 GMT -5
“You can help the Order as a Padawan, young one,” said Kane with a smile, after Carth had finished his explanation. So, Carth did feel that yearning sensation – the eagerness. Kane had expected that. He had been prepared for that. It was something that every Jedi Master was prepared for. Carth was a strong young man. Someday, he would be a great Jedi Knight. Kane knew that without even thinking about it. But he wasn't ready yet, and he had accepted that fact.
When the conversation drifted to a more serious topic, Kane's brow creased in thought. Carth had brought up the words that had been nagging at him for the past few minutes. The Jedi Master had been avoiding that topic; too bad Carth had thought to ask it of him. Should Kane tell him what was going on? The Jedi Council had demanded that only members were allowed to know the secret, lest it spill into the streets. Carth could be trusted with the secret, however. This was an exception.
Kane didn't want to disobey the council again, though. He had already done so days before. What would they do to him if he went against their orders again? No, he couldn't tell his Padawan. Not yet . . . Not until the situation called for it.
“I . . . I can't tell you,” Kane managed, shaking his head. “There is more going on than you realize, Padawan, and that is all that you need to know.” For some reason, Kane felt sorry for Carth. He didn't know anything about what was going on. He was probably worried sick about the whole situation, and Kane could do nothing to help him. But these were dark times, and dark times called for different measures.
Kane sighed deeply, placing his face in his hands, rubbing his temples in distress. He couldn't handle it. He had to tell Carth something, at least.
“I can tell you that I assembled the Strike Team only in an a necessary act against the Sith Empire. Yes, I was being hasty, but it had to be done.”
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Post by shteven on May 26, 2009 16:52:27 GMT -5
Carth continued to feel that eagerness. But then again, he would have to keep it in check in the future. This much he knew. He would help the Order in some capacity; what capacity it remains to be seen.
Carth remained in silence until Kane finished talking. So it was a secret. But even he knew there was lines that some don’t cross. That was one of them. But one thing’s for sure: whatever made Kane assemble the Strike Team; had to happen for a reason. What did the Sith do to draw a Jedi Master to attack them? One thing’s for sure: it happened right in front of the Chancellor, and it led to the Order being cast out of the Republic.
“Well, in any case, things happen for a reason. I’ll leave it at that, Master, don’t worry.” Carth spoke looking at the room then back at his Master. He seemed tired. “Master, you seem tired. As a matter of fact, you are tired.”
Carth noticed something: Kane looked completely exhausted. He must’ve been on the Outer Rim doing something. He decided not to press the subject.
Carth got up from the bed and he motioned to it. “You can rest here if you want, Master.”
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